


Sangtekster

by CiaraSky



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cheesy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Letters, Love Confessions, M/M, Meet the Family, Mental Health Issues, Movie Night, Playlist, Relationship Advice, Song Lyrics, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-09-06 11:07:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8748157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CiaraSky/pseuds/CiaraSky
Summary: “You should text him then,” Jonas said. Isak lifted his head and looked over at Jonas.“But what could I possibly send him? After that text of mine?” Isak asked and looked at Jonas, hoping for advice.“Send him some song lyrics back. He seems to have a soft spot for them.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might have to open the pics in a new tab if they don't show up. Idk what's up with that...

**Mandag, 14:03**

 

Isak left the classroom, his backpack slung over one shoulder. He made his way outside, descending the stairs. He reached the second level when the door to the stairwell opened and suddenly he was face to face with Even.

He stopped in his tracks and someone bumped into his back, cursing, and then shoved past him. Even stood frozen to the spot like him, people squeezing past him through the door.

Isak studied Even’s face, noticing the dark circles under his eyes and how pale he looks. Even licked his lip, but before he could even open his mouth, Isak’s legs took him down the stair so fast he almost tripped on them.

He could only breathe again when he stepped onto the school yard.

Isak then spotted Jonas’ yellow beanie and made his way over.

“Bye,” Magnus and Mahdi said as Isak reached them since both of them were already finished for the day.

Isak waited until they were out of ear shot before he grabbed Jonas by his jacket and steered him over to a bench.

“So, I fucked up,” Isak said when they had settled on the bench. The school yard was mostly empty and nobody was near enough to hear a word of their conversation.

Jonas raised his eyebrows at this and then waited for Isak to go on.

“Even took me to a hotel on Friday. The Radisson Blu Plaza.”

Jonas’ mouth fell open at this.

“He didn’t!” he exclaimed in disbelief.

“He did,” Isak confirmed, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “He ordered burgers and champagne –” “Champagne?!” “– and he was talking about our wedding and all these things...” Isak took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. “I knew something was wrong. I couldn’t stop thinking about it when we were chilling in bed hours later. And then in the middle of the night he showers and leaves with just his shoes on.”

Isak sent Jonas a cautious look, giving him time to process all this. Jonas knitted his eyebrows at the last bit.

“Just his shoes?” Jonas inquired, absent-mindedly picking on his cuticles.

“Yeah... I was half asleep so I didn’t realize at first. But then I went after him. And I called Sonja. His ex.” Isak gulped at the memory. He licked his lips as he took another deep breath. “She told me Even is manic. That he doesn’t love me. That it was just a... sick idea he has. She said the police has him.”

The silence stretched between the two friends, the wind rustling the leafless branches of the trees and bushes around them. Jonas stared into the distance, opening his mouth a few times before he finally asked:

“And you believe her?”

Isak met his best friend’s eyes and shrugged his shoulders.

“I did some research on mania. I don’t know what to think... but then Even sent me this on Saturday.”

Isak pulled his phone from his pocket, opened the conversation with Even and gave Jonas the phone. Jonas read the messages thoroughly and looked up when he was finished.

“And that was your answer to that? ‘Don’t talk to me’?” Jonas asked, scrolling through the texts Even had sent again. Isak clenched his teeth and nodded sheepishly.

“But you want to talk to him?” Jonas kept asking, giving Isak his phone back, and the latter bobbed his head.

“Yes. I just... I’m fucking in love with him, Jonas,” Isak confessed and stared at his best friend at the words. “I mean I... I just... I had told him about Mom and that I don’t want mentally ill people in my life and... Oh God...” Isak leaned over and put his head in his hands.

“But you still wanna be with him?” Jonas asked and Isak nodded yet again, his face still hidden behind his hands.

“You should text him then,” Jonas said. Isak lifted his head and looked over at Jonas.

“But what could I possibly send him? After that text of mine?” Isak asked and looked at Jonas, hoping for advice.

“Send him some song lyrics back. He seems to have a soft spot for them.”

Isak rubbed a thumb over the display of his phone before unlocking it and opening his music library. Jonas did the same on his phone.

They listened to little bits of different songs for a few minutes before Jonas told Isak to listen to a particular song he had just started playing.

“Is that _Years & Years_?” Isak asked and leaned over to catch a glimpse of the screen.

“No. Clean Bandit,” Jonas corrected before he paused the song and googled the lyrics. He copied the link and sent it to Isak. “I think it’s pretty fitting.”

Isak read the lyrics on Jonas’ phone and indeed, they were quite fitting.

“Thanks,” Isak mumbled into his scarf, but Jonas just gave him a sideways hug.

“Bro, just try and fix it. Admitting you were wrong is hard, but it’s worth it.”

*

Isak watched the clock as the seconds went by. It felt like this lesson would never end. He looked back at the board but he didn’t understand a thing, and honestly, he didn’t care.

He took out his phone when his teacher wasn’t looking and opened the link Jonas had sent him. He read the lyrics when his eyes got caught on a certain line.

_I want to be strong for you_

He read the part following it, and then he read it again. And another time. Then he copied those lyrics and opened the conversation with Even. He tried not to look at his last text as he pasted the lyrics and hit Send.

 

**Mandag, 17:41**

 

_Ding. Ding ding ding._

Isak snatched his phone from where it was laying on the other side of his bed at the repeated sound of new text messages.

His breath hitched when he saw they were from Even. He quickly unlocked his phone and opened the messages. But if he thought it had been difficult to breathe before, it was nothing to what it was like now.

Isak stared at his phone screen but no new messages appeared. Isak kept staring. The thought that maybe Even was sitting like this in his home right now, him too staring at his phone, waiting for a message, made Isak smile. He took a screenshot of the messages and sent it to Jonas, who replied within minutes with a  _Looks good._

Then Isak copied the first message and searched for the lyrics. He tapped on the suggested Youtube video and listened.

His heart ached at the first three lines because they made him think of Friday and of the weekend before. But suddenly, female pronouns were used. Isak was thrown off by this, and it hurt even more during the chorus because the pronouns made him think of Sonja.

But then the second verse started and Isak recognized the text from the messages. He read the lyrics on the screen and couldn’t help but think of the last hug Even and he had shared in the elevator at “we hold each other”.

Isak was pleasantly surprised when the next bit was rapped, though he realized it didn’t completely fit him and Even. But before the last chorus started there were three lines that made Isak rewind the song a bit so he could hear it again.

 

_If I could build a perfect person honestly you would be it_

_And you know nobody knows you like I know you_

_I can't wait to come back home so I can hold you_

Isak let the song play until ended and then sat in silence. He tapped the Return symbol and then stared at his home screen for a moment. He contemplated to shoot Even a message to let him know he listened to the song, but then opened the conversation with Jonas instead.

 

_Isak, 17:47_

_Did you listen to the song?_

_Jonas, 17:48_

_No. Should I?_

_Isak, 17:48_

_Yeah so you can tell me I’m not imagining things_

Isak closed the conversation and stared at Even’s name in the convo list. He couldn’t believe they were now communicating exclusively through song lyrics, but maybe it was good. Maybe this was what they needed. To say what they felt through other people’s words.

But Isak did wonder how Even was holding up. He remembered how miserable Even had looked in school and it made him think about what had happened on the weekend. He knew from Sonja that he had been with the police, but why exactly? Because he had been walking around naked? Because he was a danger to himself? Isak had read that a compulsory hospitalization could happen, but he doubted that Even had been admitted to a psychiatric ward because if he had been, would he be at school then?

Suddenly Isak’s phone rang and he picked it up after a quick glance and seeing that it was Jonas.

“I don’t know how much of that song Even projects onto your relationship, but damn,” Jonas said in lieu of a hello. “The _If I could build a perfect person_ bit? If you ask me, you two should talk. And not some pseudo lyrics talk. Real talk.”

Isak chewed on his lip as he thought about this.

“What about Sonja? She was pretty clear about wanting me to stay away from Even,” he said, gulping at the memory of how much it had ripped him apart hearing that.

“Fuck Sonja,” Jonas said, unknowingly echoing Even. “It’s not her you want to talk with. So what if Even is manic? He can still decide for himself. Just because she thinks you two shouldn’t talk or meet doesn’t mean Even thinks the same. Because obviously he still feels the same about you just judging from those lyrics.”

“Mhm,” Isak vaguely agreed. He could still hear Sonja’s voice echoing in the back of his head telling him that it was just a sick idea Even had.

“Text me when you need to talk, ok? I gotta help Thea with something.”

“Okay,” Isak replied and Jonas hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Each chapter will cover one day until Friday (or at least that's how it's planned so far).
> 
> Tusen takk for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might have to open the pic in a new tab, idk what's up with that. // Not beta'd yet, all mistakes are mine.

**Tirsdag, 8:23**

 

Isak got off the bus and pulled his phone from the pocket on the back of his jeans when he felt it vibrating. He was hoping it would be Even but alas, it was only Jonas.

 

_Did you guys talk?_

 

Isak looked left and right to cross the street and typed out his answer when he reached the other side of the street.

 

_No. Idk what to say_

 

Isak hit the Send button and went down the sidewalk until he reached his school. He knew Jonas wasn’t there yet so he just headed inside, going to his locker. But just as he punched in his code, Jonas leaned against the lockers next to him. Isak startled and took a step back.

“Hei,” Jonas said and grinned.

“Hallo,” Isak replied and put in his code again, finally opening his locker.

“You are unbelievable,” Jonas said and Isak shot him a confused look. Jonas raised his eyebrows and shook his head with a smile. “Isak. I know you like the palm of my hand. I know you bottle stuff up. But damn bro, don’t bottle this one up.”

Isak still looked at Jonas, wondering how he had managed to go so long without talking to him about Even.

“And you invited him to the Christmas concert, didn’t you? Don’t you want him to come anymore?” Isak averted his gaze, surveying the contents of his locker until he found his Norwegian text book. He took it out and studied the book cover for a moment before he shut his locker and nodded. Jonas huffed. “Then you need to talk to him. ASAP.”

 

**Tirsdag, 16:07**

 

“Isak m’boy!” Eskild greeted cheerfully as Isak entered the flat.

“Uh... hi?” Isak replied confused and squinted at his flat mate.

“I planned something wonderful for you. You’re free this afternoon?” Eskild asked with a cautious smile.

“I... guess so?” Isak said as he put his backpack on the ground and peeled off his jacket.

“Wonderful,” Eskild said and walked towards Isak, placed a hand on his shoulder and steered him into the living room. The couch table was laden with snacks and drinks, several DVDs laying in a stack. Linn and Noora were sitting together on one of the couches, the former sending Isak a small smile.

“Come on Isak, this will be fun,” Eskild said when he noticed the skeptical look on Isak’s face, and pushed Isak towards the couch. Isak figured he had no other choice so he dropped down on the cushions, Eskild following him mere seconds later. Eskild then took the stack of DVDs and looked through them.

“We got... Civil War... We Are The Millers... Hangover... Night At The Museum... and Mad Max: Fury Road. Your choice,” he said and placed the stack on Isak’s lap. The boy shuffled through the boxes and then settled on _Civil War_. Eskild took it, went over to the TV and put it in. Then, before he settled on the couch again, he opened a beer can and offered it to Isak, who took it. Then he opened one for himself and sat down next to Isak.

Isak took the first sip of his beer and immediately wanted to hurl the can across the room against the TV because God fuck it, even a simple beer can made him think of Even. But he just clenched his teeth, gripped the can a bit harder, and concentrated on the movie that, after a few pushes on the remote from Noora, now started playing.

*

“I still gotta do some homework,” Isak said after _Hangover_ finished playing and put his second beer can down on the couch table. Linn startled awake from where she fell asleep on the armrest and blinked over at him.

“No sulking, ok?” she said and immediately dropped her head on her arm again. Noora chuckled and turned down the volume a bit as the credits kept playing.

“Ok, we’re gonna let you do your homework,” Eskild then said with nod at the end, like he was some Highness granting Isak time for school. Isak rolled his eyes and pushed himself off of the couch, grabbing his backpack, which still stood by the door, on the way to his room.

With a satisfying thud he closed the door behind him and leaned again the wood, closing his eyes for a second.

But then there were knocks on his door. Isak felt the knocks vibrate in his skull so he took a step away from the door, turned around and opened it.

“I also made you this playlist,” Eskild said when Isak met his eyes through the gap, holding up an USB stick. He held it out for Isak to take. Isak eyed it for a few seconds before he took it from between Eskild’s fingers. “It’s a bunch of songs that usually put me in a good mood so I thought you could listen to them.”

Isak looked down at the stick and then up at Eskild.  
“Takk... for alt,” Isak said and he knew he looked lost.

“Selvfølgelig,” Eskild replied before he retreated with a soft look that wasn’t quite a smile.

Isak closed the door and went over to his bed, dropping his backpack next to it, and threw himself onto the bed. He stayed like this for a minute or two. His mind was both bustling with thoughts and empty at the same time and Isak asked himself how that could be.

Before he could get lost in this thinking-about-thoughts thinking, he took his laptop from his bedside table and turned it on. While it booted, he eyed the USB stick. It had a bit of masking tape on it that read “Baby Jesus playlist”. Isak grinned despite himself.

Isak typed in his password and then plugged the stick into his laptop and opened the files in his music player.

The first notes of the first song made Isak roll his eyes because Eskild’s taste in music was ridiculous. Of course he’d have “A little party never killed nobody” in his playlist.

Isak checked the other titles and sure enough, the other songs were all equally bad. From this song to will.i.am’s “Scream and Shout” to Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ “Heads will roll” from the Project X soundtrack. But Isak understood why those songs cheered Eskild up. So he kept listening but put the laptop to the side to do some homework.

He tried for fifteen minutes to read the text for his biology homework but to no avail. Every word he read was gone as soon as he reached the next one, and he read the sentences several times, but when he finished the paragraph, he couldn’t remember one single information.

Isak shoved his textbook from his lap and took his laptop again. He scrolled through the songs that hadn’t played yet, trying to find something remotely okay to listen to. But on the first glance nothing sounded appealing so he just went over to 9gag instead.

Like this he scrolled away 2 ½ hours. When Isak had to stifle the first yawn he looked at the clock and did a double-take. He looked over at his biology textbook and then back at the time.

“Føkk,” he cursed and closed the 9gag tab. He furled his eyebrows as he remembered Eskild’s playlist. It had played the whole time and Isak hadn’t even noticed, still less been bothered by it. He maximized the music player again just as a new song started playing.

 

 _You got that look in your eyes, eyes,_  
_I can tell you had bad dreams last night_  
_Let me take you in my arms, you can cry, cry_  
_Let me love you til you feel alright  
_ _Cause I am yours; you–_

 

Isak hit the pause button. He stared at the screen. Did Eskild actually put a love song in that list? Honestly?

The cursor still hovered over the pause button as the silence filled the room. With dread rising up inside him, Isak clicked again.

He listened to the lyrics and fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Isak clicked the _Repeat 1_ button to listen to it again. In a new tab, he opened the lyrics. He read along as the song played and felt the lump build in his chest. Before he could stop himself, he called:  
“Eskild!”

Within seconds, Eskild stormed into Isak’s room, looking alarmed.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, stepping closer.

“This song in the playlist of yours is what’s wrong!” Isak exclaimed, shoving the laptop from his legs and springing up from the bed, pointing an accusatory finger at the laptop.

Eskild knitted his eyebrows and listened. After two lines of text his face lit up.

“Oh, that one!” he sighed, smiling.

“That one?” Isak asked exasperated.

“You don’t like it?” Eskild asked, his face falling. Isak shook his head at his flat mate in a confused sort of way.

“A love song??? Fuck Eskild,” he said and rubbed a hand over his face.

“Oh...” Eskild noted and bit his lip. “I... fuck, unnskyld Isak. It’s a song I listened to loads last summer, lots of good memories, I wasn’t... I wasn’t thinking.”

They stared at each other as the song kept playing in the background, Sia singing about g _olden love_.

“Unnskyld igjen,” Eskild apologized and looked abashed. “I didn’t mean to... like, remind you of Even.”

Isak shook his head again and plopped down on his bed, all energy gone from his body.

“Det er bra,” Isak said.

“It’s not, Isak. And I know you’re not fine either,” Eskild said and stepped closer. “You tried talking to Even?”

“Nei,” Isak replied and fished his phone from his pocket. “We got this weird thing going on right now.”

“Weird thing?” Eskild asked, sitting down next to Isak who handed him his phone, the conversation with Even open. Eskild read the messages and his eyes grew wide. “Lyrics?”

“Mhm,” Isak confirmed and reached out to take his phone back but Eskild furiously started typing. Isak scrambled to take his phone from Eskild's hands but the older one held it out of Isak’s reach. He finished typing and then thrusted the phone into Isak’s hand.

“Send it or don’t. Not my decision. But why not continue this while it lasts?” Eskild suggested and Isak looked down at the phone and the text Eskild had written.

It was part of the lyrics. Eskild watched as Isak read the message.

There was a part of Isak that wanted to delete the message, just stop texting Even altogether. This whole situation was so weird and he didn’t know how much longer he could go on like this, talking-not really talking to Even. But then there was the part who hoped. Who hoped Even, despite of what Sonja had thrown into Isak’s face, still loved him, actually loved him. That hoped that Even still wanted to be with him as much as Isak wanted to be with Even. That hoped that all of this would turn out alright...

“Føkk det,” Isak said and hit the send button. Next to him, Eskild smiled and ruffled Isak’s hair. Then he left.

The song still played and as the part came on that he had just send Isak realized that the following lines of lyrics also fit, so he said _Fuck it_ to himself once more and copied some more of the lyrics. He sent them before he could think twice about it because he knew if he did, he would delete the messages.

 

 

 

Isak stared at the three messages for a second before he locked his phone, the screen turning black. He yawned again and decided it was best to sleep and try not to think too much about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmpf, if only it were like this. But noooo ofc Isak has to ditch school. ))): But anyway thaaaaanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only beta'd with the google translate audio output feature, so all mistakes are mine. And sorry in advance if the middle part feels very familiar, I just had to add this. Also sorry if this is a bit all over the place, my thoughts were racing and I could hardly keep up writing them down!

 

**Onsdag, 07:15**

 

Isak tapped his phone’s screen to stop his alarm from buzzing and then let his head hit the pillow again. It was still pitch black outside, as usual at this time of the year. All he wanted to do was keep sleeping, but he forced himself to get up.

Isak folded back the blanket and slid out of the bed, heading over to his dresser to put on some clothes. Then he made his way into the kitchen to get food.

As he prepared his breakfast, he pulled his phone out of his pocket... or wanted to, as it wasn’t there.

Isak went back to his room and fetched it from his bed and turned on the screen on his way back to the kitchen. He stopped in his tracks when he saw that he had messages from Even.

He swiped across the screen to unlock it and opened the messages.

 

_I wanna tell you secrets no one’s ever heard before_  
_I wanna give you everything, all of my heart and more_  
_Cause you came and saved my life_  
_In the lonely hour, in the lonely hour  
_ _Oh I’m praying for some help_

_I can't do it by myself, need you now_  
_Need you right now_  
_So hold me up, Oh_  
_I know you'll never let me down_  
_Need you to hold me up,_  
_I need someone like you around_  
_So hold me up, Oh  
_ _Hold me up, No_

 

Isak stumbled and bumped into the wall as he read the messages again. For a moment he had the ravenous need to run to Even’s flat and make sure he was okay. He was just about to slip into his shoes when he checked the time stamp on the messages. 02:01.

Isak slipped out of his left shoe again as he let this sink in. Even had been thinking of him at two in the night, listening to a song about being saved. Isak leaned against the wall and read the lyrics again. His heart ached.

He hated not talking to Even properly. But he hated this more. The thought that Even way lying awake at night, listening to songs like this, feeling lonely, wanting help, _needing him_.

Isak locked his phone and pocketed it. He wanted to show this to Jonas but he knew that his friends had the first period off, so he was still sleeping and Isak would most likely first see him during lunch break.

So he took a deep breath and tried to swallow down the tornado of emotions that raged inside him.

 

**Onsdag, 11:54**

 

Isak sat down in the cafeteria and Jonas sat down next to him.

“How are you?” he asked, shrugging off his jacket and putting it on his lap.

“Hm,” Isak mumbled and shoved his phone over to Jonas. The latter read the texts and locked up with raised eyebrows.

“ _I’m praying for some help_? Damn, that’s dark,” Jonas said and handed Isak his phone back. “I told you this twice before and I will tell you again: talk to him. He’s manic, not insane.”

“Who’s manic?” Magnus, who had just come up to them, asked as he occupied the third chair.

“Even,” Isak said feebly and looked down at his sandwich.

“Even? Really?” Magnus asked surprised, scooting closer.

“Yeah,” Isak confirmed, picking at a piece of lettuce that was poking out from between the toast slices.

“Huh,” Magnus said, raising his eyebrows. “He didn’t act like it.” Now it was Isak’s turn to be surprised. Magnus saw the wonder on Isak’s face and gestured indistinctly with his hand. “Well I mean I only met him once so I can’t really judge, but, you know, my mom’s bipolar.”

Both Isak and Jonas looked at Magnus with wide eyes.

“Why did you never tell us?” Jonas asked.

“Because it’s not a big deal,” Magnus said, shrugging his shoulders. “She’s not her illness. She’s awesome and kind and hilarious and all kinds of things, but she also happens to be bipolar.”

Isak looked from Magnus down at his sandwich and chewed on the inside of his cheek.

“But how do you know he’s manic?” Magnus asked, his voice soft.

“He... he went out naked on Friday. In the dead of the night in the middle of Grønland.”

Magnus laughed and Jonas shot him a death glare that shut the blond boy up.

“I’m sorry but that’s hilarious. A lot crazier than what my mom does when she’s manic. Oh my God.”

“It’s not funny,” Isak said, irritated by Magnus’ good mood.

“It kinda is,” Magnus replied with a grin but then calmed himself down. “But where is he now?”

“Home I guess,” Isak said, putting his sandwich down because he wasn’t hungry at all anymore.

“You haven’t talked to him?” Magnus asked, surveying Isak. The latter squirmed a bit under the gaze.

“No. Well, not really. We got this lyrics thing going on. And Sonja doesn’t want me and Even to talk.”

“Lyrics thing? Sonja?” Magnus asked and knitted his eyebrows.

Jonas said “They send each other lyrics instead of normal messages” as Isak said “His ex girlfriend”.

Magnus looked from Isak to Jonas and back to Isak.

“You’re listening to his ex?” he asked, ignoring Jonas’ answer.

“Well, she knows him better than I do, doesn’t she?” Isak said, not able to look at Magnus.

“Maybe, but she’s not _him_ ,” Magnus replied. “What else did she say?”

“That he’s not in love with me,” Isak said after some hesitation and Magnus threw his hands up in exasperation.

“Oh God Isak, are you seriously listening to his ex? His _ex_ , that he _dumped_ , because he’s obviously in love with _you_?” Magnus watched Isak as the words sank in. Then, Magnus sighed and stifled a laugh. “I know I’m doing stupid shit sometimes, but damn Isak, this takes the cake.”

Isak looked at Jonas, wondering if his friend found this as weird as he was. Jonas shrugged, mouthing _He’s_ _not wrong tho_.

“So what am I supposed to do?” Isak finally asked. He was feeling lost, though it felt good that he now knew someone who knew someone who was bipolar.

“Talk to him, obviously,” Magnus explained. “I don’t know Sonja, but she’s talking bullshit. Even is manic, not mentally retarded. He can love. He can hate. And he can most certainly decide for himself if what he feels is real or not.”

“Damn dude,” Jonas said when Magnus ended, looking impressed. “I didn’t know you had such deep thoughts.”  
“I’m full of surprises,” Magnus said and grinned, and Jonas shook his head, smiling.

Isak watched the two as thought about this whole conversation. Maybe... maybe Sonja was wrong after all, maybe Even had spoken the truth when he had said that she was controlling. Maybe he should really talk to Even. Especially after the text from this night.

“But how do I do it?” Isak asked and Jonas and Magnus looked at him, stopping the conversation they had just begun.

“Do what?” Jonas asked.

“Talk to Even.”

“You go to his flat. You ring the bell. You’re going inside. You talk to him,” Magnus said, emphasizing every sentence with a karate chop onto the table.

“What about Sonja? What if she’s there and won’t let me in?” Isak pointed out.

“Hm...” Magnus murmured, the corners of his mouth drawn down in contemplation.

“Then you gotta find a time when she’s not around,” Jonas suggested.

“Or we’ll just kidnap her,” Magnus proposed and Isak couldn’t help but grin a little.

“Yeah, right,” he said, shaking his head.

“I’m serious,” Magnus deadpanned, but Jonas just laughed.

 

**Onsdag, 16:04**

 

Isak stopped the song he was listening to, Nas’ _Reach Out_ , as he entered the flat. Thankfully this afternoon nobody was waiting for him. So he just grabbed a banana from the kitchen and made his way to his room. But as he reached his door, he saw a letter wedged between door leaf and door frame. He took it and went into his room, plopping down on his bed. At first he didn’t think much of it because they always distributed each other’s letters like this, but then he saw the return address. It read _Even Bech Næsheim_.

Isak teared open the envelope and fished the letter out, unfolding the paper with shaking hands.

Isak stared at the letter for what felt like minutes. Then he pulled out his phone and took a photo of the text and then sent it to Jonas.

Isak stared at his phone as he waited for Jonas to see the message. After about a minute, Jonas was online and his icon moved to the picture, indicating that he saw it. Isak bopped his leg impatiently as the little bubble popped up.

 

_Seriøst?_

 

Isak sent a short “yes” back and waited again. The bubble appeared once more for two seconds and then a new text popped up.

 

_Jonas, 16:12_

_Go to his flat. Now._

_Isak, 16:12_

_What about Sonja? She’s probably home now_

_Jonas: 16:12_

_Fine. Then go there tomorrow right after school. I know you’re done at 1._

_Isak, 16:13_

_But shouldn’t I reply something? Some lyrics? But he keeps sending me those ridiculously well-fitting lyrics and I’m sitting here listening to Dr. Dre and Nas and..._

 

Isak stopped typing and opened his music player again. He clicked play on the last song he listened to. He wondered why he hadn’t thought of this song before.

Quickly, he searched for the lyrics and then copied the Mary J. Blige bit and sent it to Even.

 

_This kind of love is a once in a lifetime cruise_  
_Reach out and touch the love that I have for you_  
_I see you standing there so lost and all alone_  
_I wanna take you in my arms  
_ _And tell you that you’re home_

 

Isak stared at the message he sent, hoping that Even would see it right away. But knowing Even, that wasn’t likely. So Isak locked the screen and put his phone down next to Even’s letter, running his fingertips over the paper.

He looked over at his wall where he had put up all the drawings Even gave him so far when suddenly, his phone vibrated. He checked to see if it was Even, but it was an unknown number.

Isak’s stomach dropped. He thought he knew who it was, and, dreading it, he opened the message.

 

_Unknown Number, 16:19_

_STOP TEXTING EVEN!!! - SONJA_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was too damn lazy to do the lyric messages as pictures but you still got one picture... ;)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Torsdag, 13:19**

 

Isak got off the tram and made his way down the street until he reached Even’s flat. He stood in front of the door, looking up at the second level where he knew the flat was located.

He took a step towards the door bells. Isak’s index finger hovered over the nameplate which read “Næsheim”, but just as he took a deep breath to push the bell, the door opened and Isak stumbled back.

And elderly woman stepped outside, smiling at him and held the door open for a moment.

“Takk,” Isak said and slid inside. He looked back at her as the door fell shut and then looked at the stairs.

With his heart beating against his ribcage, he climbed them and then stood in front of the door that led to Even’s flat. Inhaling, he pushed the bell.

“Please be home alone, please be home alone, please be home alone,” Isak prayed under his breath as the seconds passed by. Then, he heard how the door chain was removed. Isak held his breath.

Suddenly he was face to face with Sonja. Both of them stared at each other for a second before Sonja furled her eyebrows.

“Leave,” she said, quietly but with such malice that it made the hair on Isak’s neck stand up. She pushed the door closed but Isak put his foot in the gap and stopped her. Sonja looked down and then back up at Isak, trying to shove Isak’s foot from the gap but Isak was just as determined as her.

Isak put his hands on the door leaf and pushed. With a huff, Sonja stumbled back and Isak slipped past her and ran towards Even’s room. Inside, he threw the door shut and turned the key before Sonja could catch up to him.

On the other side the girl pounded against the door, demanding Isak to unlock it. But Isak ignored her and looked over at Even’s bed instead. Dropping his backpack, he headed over and climbed the ladder. When he had climbed high enough, he saw Even curled up into a ball under his blanket, clutching his hands over his ears, his eyes screwed shut.

Still on the ladder, Isak kicked off his shoes and ascended the last few ladder stringers and laid down next to Even. The older boy stayed like he was, probably because Sonja was still pounding on the door, but Isak just put his hand gently over Even’s.

Even opened his eyes and they grew wide as he realized who was in front of him.

“What are you doing?” he whispered, almost inaudible. Sonja stopped pounding, but they could still hear her pacing up and down in front of the door.

Isak studied Even’s face and cautiously moved Even’s hand away from his ear. But he brought his own hand back up to Even’s face to place it on his cheek, rubbing his thumb across it.

“I’m saving you back,” Isak said and looked into Even’s eyes.

Like this they stayed, just breathing, Isak caressing Even’s cheek. After a few minutes, Even closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Takk,” he mumbled and opened his eyes again. He glanced over at the door, but they couldn’t hear Sonja anymore. It was completely silent.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come by earlier,” Isak whispered and Even shook his head, but Isak continued. “I was so scared. And hurt. I believed Sonja. But I realized that was wrong. That I should only believe you.”

Even didn’t smile, but something in his eyes changed. Isak brushed back a strand of Even’s hair and ran his fingers through them.

“And what do you believe now?” Even asked and Isak’s breath hitched when he felt how Even placed his hand on Isak’s hip.

“That only you can feel what you feel,” Isak mumbled and the tiniest twitch of a smile lit up Even’s face.

“You can’t imagine how glad I was when you send those lyrics after you told me to stop texting you,” Even said quietly, his eyes darting from Isak’s eyes to his lips. “I was so hurt when you wrote that and that’s when Sonja started telling me that I wasn’t in love with you. That I...” Even drew a shaky breath before he continued. “That I obsessed over this idea of being in love with someone else, that all of this wasn’t real. And that you didn’t want anything to do with me anyway after Friday.” Even cast down his eyes. “I didn’t trust my own judgement. I didn’t know how you felt.”

Isak scooted closer to that he was almost nose to nose with Even, curling his hand around the back of Even’s neck.

“Didn’t the messages make that quite clear?” Isak asked but then remembered the other bit Even had just said. After a short pause he said: “Sonja told me the same thing. On Friday. She said you’re not in love with me.”

Even looked up again, his eyebrows now knitted.

“She did?” he asked and Isak nodded. “Then why did you text me that on Monday?”

Isak clenched his jaw for a moment as he thought.

“It was all so much. I didn’t know what to think. But then I talked to Jonas. Because I realized I still wanted you, but I knew I had fucked up with that message...” Isak felt his heart pound in his chest, pumping the blood into his cheeks. “And Jonas suggested I send you lyrics back since that was the last thing you sent me.”

Suddenly, Sonja pounded on the door again, startling both of them

“Open this god damn door!” Sonja called, though it was muffled by the wood. Next to him, Even scrambled to get up and got down the ladder so quick that it took Isak a moment before he followed him. When he did, Even had already opened the door, blocking the doorway with his arm.

“Leave. And don’t come back,” he said, and Sonja looked at him confused. Then she turned her gaze towards Isak who had come to a halt next to Even.

“You can’t just –” she started, pointing a finger at Isak but Even cut her short.

“Leave Isak out of this,” he snapped, moving the tiniest bit so that he stood partially in front of Isak. “ _You_ are the one who’s not good for me. And you’re not who I want. Get out.”

And with that, he shut the door and turned the key in the lock.

Isak stared at him as he turned around, amazed by the sudden display of badassness.

Even took a step closer to Isak, whose breath hitched but he stayed put. Even tangled his hand in Isak’s hair.

“I should thank Jonas then I guess,” Even said and it took Isak a moment to sort his thoughts and get why Even said that.

“And Magnus,” Isak added and rolled his eyes internally because, of all people it, was Magnus who got Isak to finally, actually reach out.

“Magnus,” Even hummed and grinned. “I guess I owe him a hug.”

Now Isak smiled too. His heart was still pounding, but now it felt good. It felt good to stand in front of Even, so close that he could see every crinkle around Even’s eyes, so close that he could kiss him if he wanted to...

Isak bridged the last bit of space that was between them and placed his lips on Even's who seemed to melt into the touch. In the background he could hear the door being slammed shut but he didn’t care. He only cared about Even’s lips on his, his hands on Even’s hips and the other boy’s hand in his hair.

Far too quickly for Isak’s liking, Even pulled back and leaned his forehead against Isak’s. The smile from before was gone.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my disorder,” Even whispered and Isak dug his fingers into the fabric of Even’s shirt. “But when you said you didn’t want mentally ill people in you–”

“I wouldn’t have said that if I had known,” Isak cut Even off and tried to let go of Even’s shirt. “I’m so sorry.” Isak looked down at Even’s chest, unable to meet Even’s eyes.

“Hei,” Even said softly and took Isak’s chin between his fingers to force him to look at him. When Isak finally looked up, Even pressed a quick kiss on Isak’s lips. “I know. At least since those Sia lyrics.”

“I’m still sorry,” Isak stated, the words filling the space between them. “I don’t care that you’re manic. You’re still Even. You’re still the exact same guy who gives me silly drawings and knows all the lyrics to Gabrielle songs and makes me feel all those things I have never felt before...”

“I am?” Even asked and his eyes lit up.

“Yeah,” Isak breathed, hyperaware of Even’s fingers that rested lightly on his jaw. “And I don’t care... I mean, I _do_ care,” Isak said and let his head hang low, taking a shaky breath before he looked up at Even again. “I... I’m in love with you. And that means I love all of you. Not only the good parts.”

Even stared at Isak for what felt like hours and when Isak couldn’t stand it anymore, he whispered:

“Please say something.”

Even smiled and moved so close that their lips were only millimeters from each other and they stared straight into each other’s eyes.

“I haven’t felt this alive in so long,” Even said and with a smile, he kissed Isak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of lyrics in this. You'll get some in the next chapter ;)
> 
> Thanks for reading, we're almost done!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta'd yet, feel free to point out mistakes!

**Fredag, 19:43**

 

Isak couldn’t help but stare at Even as the latter opened the door. Even wore a burgundy button down, his hair as skillfully messy as always. Only when Eve raised his eyebrows did Isak notice that he had been staring a tad too long. He shook his head to clear his mind and smiled because the thought that this was real – that this was really happening, he was taking Even to the Christmas concert, he was going to introduce Even to his parents – was quite overwhelming.

“Hey beautiful,” Even greeted Isak and smiled. Then he took a coat from the hook opposite the door and stepped out into the hallway, slipping into the jacket. “Good to go?”

“Mhm,” Isak said and took in Even’s appearance again. But then Even went down the stairs and Isak had to follow quickly to keep up.

*

Isak was silent for most of the tram ride, bobbing his leg nervously. Even tried to initiate a conversation, pointing out this or that, but Isak couldn’t listen. But at last they reached their stop and got off. Even entwined their hands as soon as their feet hit the sidewalk, giving Isak’s hand a reassuring squeeze. 

In silence again they headed for the church. There was quite a cluster of people standing outside the church when it came into view, and the two boys got nearer, the younger one searching for his parents. A minute later, Isak spotted them standing by the entrance and stopped in his tracks. Even waited and watched him.

“Hey,” he whispered and stepped towards Isak, blocking the view of his parents. “You told me they’d be fine, right?”

“Right,” Isak said and swallowed. And he already told them anyway, but the actual meeting was something different altogether.

“Then come on,” Even replied and took Isak’s hand to get him into motion again.

“I can’t believe I’m more scared of this than you are,” Isak said in disbelief.

“I’m naturally charming,” Even simply said and kept on pulling Isak’s hand as he made his way towards the church. “They’ll love me.”

Isak gave in.

When they were a couple dozen meters away, Isak’s dad spotted them and waved. Isak tried to smile but he knew it was lopsided. His mom turned around as well as they approached. Her hair was shorter than the last time Isak had seen her, but she also looked happier.

“Hey Isak,” his dad greeted him when they reached them, stretching out his arms to offer a hug. Isak let go off Even’s hand and hugged his dad. Then he turned to his mom and she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Hello darling,” she said and smiled.

Isak looked from his mom to his dad and then at Even before he looked back again.

“Mamma, Pappa, dette er Even,” Isak introduced Even who stretched out his arm to shake hands with Isak’s parents.

“Pleased to meet you,” Even said and smiled at them as Isak’s dad took his hand.

“Me too,” Isak’s dad said before Even extended his hand to Isak’s mom. She smiled as they, too, shook hands.

“Shall we go in then?” Isak’s dad asked with raised eyebrows and waited for someone to agree. Isak nodded and Even entwined his fingers with his as they made their way inside.

*

“I’ll use the restroom real quick,” Even said and Isak nodded. He watched as Even made his way past the other audience members and towards the restroom. Isak followed him until he was out of sight and then concentrated on the concert again.

It was only when the maestro bowed to the audience and everyone started clapping that Isak noticed that Even hadn’t returned. Panic made his stomach drop. He sprung up from his seat and next to him, his dad looked up.

“What is it?” he asked, getting up too.

“Even’s gone,” Isak said and scanned the room, hoping that Even would stand at the back of the room, but that wasn’t the case.

“Maybe he’s outside,” Isak’s dad suggested and Isak’s stomach felt a little lighter.

Taking his jacket, he and his parents made their way outside, apologizing as they squeezed past other people who were still seated.

Isak checked the restroom as his parents got their jackets from the cloakroom, and he returned without having found Even.

“Let’s check outside,” Isak’s mom suggested as she was given her coat by the woman behind the counter and Isak nodded.

Isak shuddered as he was hit with cold air when he stepped outside. A bunch of other people were already outside as well, and Isak couldn’t spot Even. His parents came up to him, looking around as well.

“Isak,” his dad suddenly said and when Isak looked over, his dad pointed somewhere. “There.”

Isak followed the direction his dad was pointing in and his jaw dropped.

Even was standing in the light of a streetlamp, playing on a guitar. He moved towards them and all around, people stopped and watched. Isak couldn’t take his eyes off Even.

“You got those eyes starin’ ‘to my soul,” Even started singing when he was close enough for Isak to hear him over the bustling of the people around them. “You get that smile when I'm giving you my all.” Now he was standing right in front of Isak and people around watched them, more and more stopping to see what was going on. Even just smiled at Isak like he didn’t even notice. “You’re the brighter side of things, you’re the lighter side of life and all the joy that you bring is why I need you in my life. Oh, can I call you home? You’ll be mine and I’ll be yours.” Even took yet another step towards Isak who was frozen to the spot. His heart was beating so hard he thought that Even had to see it. “I just wanna let you know... In my mind I call you home.”

Even played the last note which hummed into silence. Isak was too perplexed to say anything as people around them applauded. Even slung the guitar onto his back and closed the last bit of space between them. Isak almost retreated when Even curled a hand around the back of his neck, but Even didn’t get any closer. He just smiled, playing with Isak’s hair where his hand rested.

“You’re the cheesiest person I know,” Isak said as the applause died away and people scattered.

“Kardemomme-cheesy?” Even asked with a laugh and Isak rolled his eyes but then nodded.

“Yeah. Kardemomme-cheesy.”

“What a wonderful voice you’ve got,” Isak’s mom suddenly said and Isak was brought back to reality, blushing because he realized that his parents had seen all of this too.

Even let go off Isak and thanked her. Isak’s dad clutched Isak’s shoulder and smiled at him before he gave him half a hug. Isak looked from his dad to his mom over to Even, who met his eyes with a wink.

“I hope you liked the concert, Even,” Isak’s dad said and Even tore his eyes away from Isak.

“Yes, very much,” he replied politely. “Thank you for having me.”

“Of course,” Isak’s dad replied before he checked his watch. “Okay, I gotta get going. Told the babysitter I would be home by 10:30.”

He shook hands with Even before he gave Isak another hug and then Isak’s mom said good-bye too. She gave Isak a kiss on the cheek and when she retreated she said with a smile:

“Jeg elsker deg.”

“Elsker deg også,” Isak replied, studying his mother’s face. But then she turned to Even to say goodbye and Isak watched his parents go.

“Your place or mine?” Even whispered into Isak’s ear from where he stood beside him and Isak looked over at him.

“Mine.”

 

**Fredag, 22:29**

Isak absent-mindedly ran his fingers through Even’s hair whose head rested on Isak’s chest.

“How did you even get the guitar?” Isak asked, shooting a glance at Even’s guitar that leaned against the wall next to the door.

“Jonas,” Even mumbled into Isak’s shirt and slid his fingers under the hem of it.

“What? How?” Isak asked perplexed.

“He came by before you picked me up,” Even explained and tilted his head to look up at Isak. “I thought about asking Magnus but he would’ve spilled the beans,” he said with a grin.

“True,” Isak agreed with a smirk and curled a strand of Even’s hair around his fingers.

The silence was comfortable, only their slow breathing audible. Isak felt the tiredness making his eyelids droop, but he was too comfortable to care.

“You know,” Even mumbled and Isak listened up, trying to open his eyes again. “There’s a reason why I sent the lyrics in the middle of the night or as a letter. Sonja was–“

“Shh. Let’s not talk about her ever again,” Isak said softly, his finger tangled in Even’s hair.

Even slid from Isak’s chest and turned around to look at him properly. This startled Isak fully awake.

“Yeah. But I need to tell you all this first.” Even looked down at his hands in his lap, licking his lips. “Sonja barely left me alone this week. I was... God it was horrible. But then you texted me and suddenly there was this glimmer of hope. So I replied. But she caught me. She took my phone.”

“What the fuck?!” Isak tossed in, bobbing himself up against the wall, and Even finally looked up at him again.

“I sneaked it from her bag in the night and sent you the _Hold Me Up_ lyrics because it was all too much. And then I deleted the messages after I sent it so she wouldn’t see I answered. I just prayed you’d come by.” Isak looked at Even with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open. With a shaky breath, Even continued. “And that’s also why I sent the letter. It’s... fuck. This sounds so beyond fucked up.”

“It does,” Isak agreed. There were barely 80 centimeters between them, but it felt like miles. Suddenly a realization his Isak and he scrunched his eyebrows. “Does that mean you didn’t see the other lyrics that I sent you?”

“Other lyrics?” Even asked, his eyebrows raised in confusion.

Instead of answering, Isak pulled his phone from his pocket and opened the conversation with Even. He handed the phone to him and waited.

Even read the messages. Isak watched him closely when suddenly, a tear dripped from Even’s eyes.

Isak rushed to get close to Even and wiped away the wet streak the tear had left on Even’s face.

“Hey,” he hushed and took Even’s face into his hands, hunching so that he could look at Even. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay. We’re okay,” Isak muttered as he felt himself tear up despite his words. Even leaned into the touch, grasping Isak’s wrist with one hand.

“There’s more,” Even whispered but Isak didn’t budge. “I know you saw me and Sonja at Emma’s party.”

Isak didn’t want to hear this, still too painfully aware of the distress it had caused him, ending in him ditching one week of school, but he stayed silent. He knew Even wanted to get everything off his chest.

“I was scared. Because of the comment about your mom and what would happen if you knew about me. That’s why I sent you the text that it was all too fast. I just... it was the easier choice to go back to Sonja, to stay with her, with someone who knew every bit of me and wasn’t scared away by it. Because I was afraid it would scare _you_ away. So I pushed you away first. Because I was afraid you would hate me.”

Isak still had his hands on Even’s cheeks and now he did the same Even had done yesterday. He gave Even’s jaw a gently push to that he’d look up.

When their eyes finally met again, Isak stopped breathing for a second.

“I could _never_ hate you,” Isak whispered, staring straight into Even’s eyes. “You hear me? Never.”

 

**Fredag, 23:21**

 

Even laid bare-chested next to him, his breathing steady and slow. But he still traced sloppy lines on Isak’s belly, a content ghost of a smile on his face, telling Isak that he wasn’t asleep yet.

Isak thought that he will never get enough of this. That he will never stop looking at Even. That he will forever ache for his touch, his embraces, his kisses.

Isak took his phone, overwhelmed by the feelings coming over him. He googled for the slushiest lyrics he knew and then copied them to send them to Even.

_Ding._

Even’s eyes fluttered open as Isak locked his phone, putting it down again.

“Was that yours?” Even asked sleepily and Isak declined with a hum. Even rolled over to find his phone on Isak’s nightstand and smiled when he saw that it was from Isak. He shot him a playful smile as he unlocked his phone and opened the message.

 

_'Cause all of me_  
_Loves all of you_  
_Love your curves and all your edges_  
_All your perfect imperfections_  
_Give your all to me_  
_I'll give my all to you_  
_You're my end and my beginning_  
_Even when I lose I'm winning_  
_'Cause I give you all of me  
_ _And you give me all of you_

 

His smile could’ve lit up the whole room when he was done reading. Even put his phone away and straddled Isak, looking down at him.

“And I’m the cheesy one?” Even asked, still smiling.

“Ja,” Isak replied but couldn’t help the grin that was spreading on his face. With this, Even leaned down and peppered Isak’s face with kisses before he met Isak’s lips.

What were innocent pecks a second ago turned into forceful kisses, teeth grazing lips and tongue meeting tongue. Isak grasped at every bit of Even’s skin he could reach, running his hands over the other one’s shoulders, his back and down to the waistband of his boxer shorts.

Even leaned back slightly. His pupils were so dilated that Isak could hardly see any more of Even’s strikingly blue irises, and his cheeks were flushed.

That’s when he smiled and brushed a strand of hair out of Isak’s eyes. He leaned down again, bringing his mouth to Isak’s ear, and with a whisper that gave Isak goosebumps all over, he said:

“I’m so fucking in love with you, Isak Valtersen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg thank you so much for reading all this! It was such a pleasure writing it! The rest is up to your imagination! ;)


End file.
